This teach positive sep 1942 transferred supersonic trainer to shelter come over. Dogs 't care if you use their shampoo. Dogs think you sing great. A dogs time the bathroom is confined to a quick drink. Dogs 't expect you to call when you're running late. The later you are the more excited dogs are to you. Dogs are excited by rough play. Dogs 't mind if you give their offspring away. Dogs understand that farts are funny. Dogs red meat. Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair. Anyone can get a good looking dog. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs 't hate it. Dogs 't shop. Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor. A dogs disposition doesn't change on 28 day cycles. Dogs never need to examine the relationship. A dog's parents never visit. Dogs car trips. Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions. Dogs understand that all animals smaller than dogs were meant to be hunted. When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you incessantly, you can shoot it. Dogs like beer. Dogs 't hate their bodies. No dog ever bought a G album. No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood. Dogs never criticize. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across. Dogs never expect gifts. Its legal to keep a dog chained up at your house. Dogs 't worry about germs. Dogs 't let magazine articles guide their lives. Dogs would rather have you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster one. Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry. Dogs never want foot rubs. Dogs enjoy heavy petting public. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk. Dogs can't talk. Dogs aren't chatty. Dogs seldom outlive you. The Man, The Disposer, and The Contributed to Swenny's E-Mail Funnies by Todge Podge Burnie, MD Calling sick to work makes me uncomfortable because no matter how legitimate illness, I always sense boss thinks I am lying. On one occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway because the truth was to humiliating to reveal. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury and I hoped I would feel up to coming the next day. By then, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on crown. this case, the truth hurt. I mean it really hurt the place men feel the most pain. The accident occurred mainly because I conceded to wife's wishes to adopt a cute little As the daily routine prescribes, I was taking shower after breakfast when I heard wife, call out to me from the kitchen. Ed! she hearkened. The garbage disposal is dead. Come reset it. You know where the button is. I protested through the shower Reset it yourself! I am scared! She pleaded. What if it starts going and sucks me Pause. C'mon, it'll only take a second. No logical assurance about how a disposal can't start itself calm the fears of a person who suffers from Big-ol-scary-machinephobia, a condition brought on by watching too Stephen movies. It is futile to argue or explain, kind of like telling Bentsen Americans are over-taxed. And if a poltergeist did, fact, possess the disposal, and she was into round, I'd have to live with that the rest of life. out I came, dripping wet and buck hoping to make a statement about how her cowardly behavior was not without consequence but it was I who would suffer. I crouched down and stuck head under the sink to find the button. It is the last action I remember performing. It struck without warning, without respect to circumstances. Nay, it wasn't a hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. it was our new clawing playfully at the dangling objects she spied between legs. She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I took the